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A Teenager's Guide To Being ill

Posted by archifCLICarchive from National - Published on 25/11/2011 at 13:02
0 comments » - Tagged as Comedy, Culture, Education, Health, People

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It was just one of those days, wake up, eat food, brush teeth, get dressed. Then two hours later, sitting in media, I sneezed...that is why I have been reduced to social isolation within the confines of my house!

I have a cold, back pains, and I am tired.

So after two days of sitting in my living room playing my favourite video game Minecraft, watching The Big Bang Theory, listening to Frank Sinatra and browsing the beautiful and exhilarating articles on CLIC I now consider myself an expert in surviving those home alone days where you can't go out or see your friends.

You can call me a 'Professional Being Ill-er' and here are my, ten commandments of being ill:

  1. Establish a HQ - Just like being in the Army, any area that you're not in control of is hostile.  So find yourself a main segment of the house that will become your base of operations; I'd say your living room but you can choose somewhere else.  This room must have Internet access, a TV, and a quick route to the kitchen.  So if you live in a mansion then don't choose a room in the west-wing when your food storage is in the east-wing!
  2. Stock up - Like in Step One, you're gonna want food.  If you're like me and being ill makes you lazy, you dont want to get up every two minutes to get something to eat.  So again do what I do:  get a box and fill it with snacks, drinks and other various edible items that will keep you going for 2 days (if you're ill for longer then stock up again the second night!)
  3. Plan a routine - Check out the TV guide, you dont want a climatic moment in your favourite video game or book to delay your viewing of Eastenders or whatever you watch!  It's 100% necessary for you to make sure that you space out what you do.  You're ill for goodness sake, you've got all day!
  4. Re-live childhood memories - 'Huh, what does he mean!?'  Well fellow CLICers, let me give you an example!  In 2006 a DS Game called Pokemon Mystery Dungeon came out (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pok%C3%A9mon_Mystery_Dungeon:_Blue_Rescue_Team_and_Red_Rescue_Team) so what have I done?  I've found that game and I've been playing it!  It's really fun and it keeps ya going!  Honestly, so girls dig out your Barbie dolls and guys go find your toy soldiers!  Have a bit of fun, being ill doesnt have to be boring!
  5. Literature - Whether it be your favourite Tumblr Page or the Local Newspaper.  Have something to read!  Honestly, gain some brownie points by learning about Mr Barker the local policeman or finding out Bradgelina are over!
  6. Sing songs of joy - Listening to music causes the brain to release dopamine, a feel-good chemical.  So whether it be Florence + The Machine's new song No Light No Light or a soothing Owl City tune then chuck it on the iPod and listen away!  The worst that can happen is that your neighbours will hear you singing along!
  7. Technology - If you're going to listen to some foot tapping musical numbers or play as characters on a portable gaming console, you're going to need power!  So wherever you're going to situate yourself through these tough times then make sure that plugs are nearby!
  8. Medication- I'm not psychic and you know when you're ill!  But make sure you keep well.  If you're going to pull a 'sicky' and have two (or more) days of joy then you must have the ultimate goal of getting better!
  9. Get an ill buddy - It can be your pet dog or a Facebook friend who is also ill.  If there's one thing no one wants it is to be alone!  So find someeone or something to talk to and make them your 'ill buddy'.
  10. Be Lazy - If you follow all my tips then you should be prepared to sit on your bum for two days doing absolutely nothing productive!

I hope you enjoyed this article, it's taken me two days of being ill to write it!

Thanks for reading and I'll see you all in the surgery ;D

- RawrIAmADinosaur

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